Thursday, June 5, 2014

A new start...

For a while now, work has been stressing me out.
I come home exhausted and not very satisfied. 
I have been frustrated and extremely unhappy. 
The feelings started a while back but I decided to ignore them and keep pushing through.
Yet, they would not go away.

I tried not to let on that I was unhappy.
Especially on this blog.
But sometimes, it would just slip.
I felt so guilty because I LOVE the people I work with and the customers that I saw every day.

But then, people started to leave (like these two and my manager).

So... I started to look out for positions.
In all honesty, I have been thinking about this for awhile but did not actively start until 2 months ago.
That is when I started writing work stress blog posts that I was too afraid to post.
But, I saved them and am posting them here for you guys to read about the journey I took.

It was stressful.
Nerve racking.
Down right scary.

have fun reading!



March 12, 2014
(Post from this day)
I did it. I finally went and did something about my work stresses. 

Lately, I have been feeling restless. 
     
                Under-appreciated. 

                                  Bored. 

                                             UNHAPPY. 

I have been wanting a change. This is not to say that I dislike the people I work with. They are one of the reasons I have stayed this long. I absolutely love them and have created some amazing relationships with them. 

But, I cannot stay in a position that I am unhappy at just because of the people I work with. 

I cannot become complacent and I need a challenge. 

Looking for another position within this HUGE company has been on my mind for months now. The thing is, my company has a 1-year policy for applying for other positions within the company. So, I have had to wait. 

I finally hit my one year mark at the beginning of March. But, when it hit I was scared to do anything about it. I avoided looking at the companies internal job openings. I avoided talking to my superiors. I avoided talking to Colon.

Hell, I still have not talked to him about it. I just can't. 

But, I DID get up the nerve to apply for a position. 

I am nervous, terrified, and shaking as I type this. I don't even think I will post this entry just yet. I want to see what comes of this application.

Nervous and scared,

Lourdes




March 20, 2014
(Post from this day)

I got the response... and it wasn't what I was hoping for. 

Or was it?

I held my breath as I opened the email. Doubt flowing through my mind. Was I ready for change? Am I not in a comfortable position already? Why mess that up?

Well.. I worried for nothing because I didn't get the job. i got the typical, "There were other applicants more qualified than you" response. 

I can't say I am upset or disappointed. I'm just ...

Blah. 

Should I keep applying and looking or give it a break? I only applied to one position... Maybe I'll try again.

Why is it too hard for me to publish these posts?

Relieved?, 

Lourdes



April 4
I don't want to get my hopes up.
It's almost as if someone with power was reading my thoughts. 
Today I was in luck. 
I literally had someone who worked for corporate in my company and I was lucky to help him. I had no idea he worked for the company and we just started up a conversation. Somehow the conversation turned to further opportunities and career goals. Email addresses and cards were exchanged. 

Now, I am sitting here wondering... should I email? Reach out? 

So confused...

yet so excited and hopeful!

XO Lourdes





Guys. He emailed me. I woke this morning... and there was an email. It too me a few hours to think of a response. I didn't want to sound overeager BUT at the same time I cannot give off disinterest. You know?

I need help... someone guide me!

I am nervous. 

XO Lourdes




April 25
(I talked about it the day before in this post.)

I am trying again. Another application. Work has been getting worse and worse. Yesterday was rough and i don't know how much I can take. So, I have applied for more positions. 

God help me. 

I am nervous. 

XO, Lourdes



May 1, 2014

I got an email. It asked me to set up a time for an interview for the positions that I applied for on the 25th. Oh yeah! Something is happening! Thank God. 

Wish me luck!

Later on that day

And of course, I heard from the other position (from April 4th), too. I have an interview on the 16th of May. God help me. this is the position I want. I was started to get discouraged. Now, I have my hopes up again. 



May 13, 2014 Middle of the night

I cannot sleep. Help. So nervous. My interview screening that I mentioned on the 1st is tomorrow and ...bahhhh! My stomach will not stop flipping and my thoughts won't stop heading to a negative place. Just go to sleep Lourdes. Go to sleep!



May 13, 2014 
(Post from this day)

It went so well! I now am in the second round of interviews and will have my meeting next Thursday. They sent me an email to confirm the meeting and I am overwhelmed. They gave tips and I am so nervous. 

I know I keep using that word- nervous- but that is how I am feeling. Anxious and nervous. 

I also have an interview for a different job this Friday. A position I am more interested in. Hopefully something positive comes of it!



The interview that I set up on the 1st. That one went well also.  am so confused. I have second interview for both positions in the upcoming weeks and I am going to explode with nerves. Why can't they just decide to do informal interviews? I have to do research for both interviews and get my outfits ready for the interrogation...

Sooooo nervous... 

May 21

Preparing for my interview tomorrow. I searched and searched for a jacket for my interview. I have skirts galore in my closet but those pesky jackets. So hard to find one that fits!

I have

-- printed out copies of my resume and prepared questions to ask at the end of the interview. 
-- prepared answers to behavioral questions. 

What else is there for me to do? 

Wish me luck!


May 22

I just came from the interview. I think it went well but you can never tell with interviews!

Fingers crossed

And... I had to end this post by saying...

I got the job!

I was stressing out because it took so long (not really... only a week) to give me the offer.
But I got it and I am so excited!

Now to type up my 2 weeks notice...

XO





2 comments:

  1. Oh no! I can't imagine being unhappy for so long! I'm sorry girly! I'm glad that you are being honest with yourself and taking action to bring back your happiness!
    xo TJ

    http://www.hislittlelady.com

    ReplyDelete
  2. I'm sorry you were so unhappy! But kudos for taking a step toward change, and a big congrats on getting the new job!!! YAY!

    ReplyDelete

I love comments and definitely enjoy reading them. Please be kind! :)