Friday, July 27, 2012

What more could I ask for...

It's Friday night.

 FINALLY! 

The week has been long and grueling. Work has been keeping me busy but there have been some things that have been on my mind. Serious things. Life changing things. You are probably going to read this post and think

 "She really is crazy" 

but I have to put my thoughts down. I have to make them real. If I don't, then I think I am going to go crazy. It has taken me a long time to get the courage to put things down. That is why it has been a week since I have written something to post. I have just been blah. No mood for blogging...

Colon and I have been dating for a little more than five years. That's a long time. We met our first year of undergrad and started as friends. I guess you could say that our friendship progressed into something more. Throughout the last five years, we have talked about

"the future".

Dun. Dun. Dun.

We have talked about it and we both see ourselves together. We agree on a few things. We DON'T want to be long distance forever. We want to get married and have kids. But, he sees things more clearly than I do. In every situation, he sees things so clearly. That's what I love about him.

The future. How bright the future seems when I think of spending it with Colon. But then I start thinking about the details. I let thoughts get in the way. And it is so up in the air. Where will we be? Where will we live? When is this long distance going to end?

Colon and I have been long distance for much of our relationship. He is so smart and has been able to get internships which takes him away for six months each year. It has taken a toll on me though. I freaked out on the first internship but I have learned to accept them. It's important for each of us to to what we need to do when it comes to our careers. These internships are what helps him progress in his career. I understand and that is why I am willing to sacrifice my time with him. But, that's just it. I HAVE sacrificed and I don't want to have spend anymore time with distance between us.

He graduates a year from now and then sets off for his job. A job that is NOT going to be in Florida. The state that I have lived for most of my life. The state that I pictured myself having kids in. The state that I love. But, I could learn to love another place. I am easily swayed. I am negative because I hate change. But once I  experience the change I start to realize how awesome it is.

I think that is what is scaring me. The realization that things are going to change. Out of my comfort zone. I am afraid of moving to a place where I do not know anybody. Making friends is not easy for me. Colon will be fine. But will I be? I know I will be. I'll know Colon and I know I will meet people. I know I will.

I will be with the love of my life. What more could I ask for?

XO



5 comments:

  1. Sending hugs your way. Change is hard and being away is hard to. You'll figure it out!

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  2. Loving your blog you are adorable :)! Fun post, and yes being with the love of your life is all that matters :)!

    Oh and my GFC is being odd, but it let me follow you through it with my twitter account... who knew you could that?! Love it.

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  3. Future is scary. It really does all work out. But being a person who doesn't like change either, I understand. :)

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  4. lol you are not crazy - the future really can be terrifying. But if there's one thing I've learned, it's that everything always works out. :)

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  5. Oh girl I feel this post in my heart so hard right now. I am so happy to read your more recent posts and see how your outlook on this has changed. It gives me hope that I'll be able to figure out my own situation too. Thanks so much for being so open with this!!

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