Tuesday, April 5, 2011

Star-crossed lovers

"Distance is not for the fearful, it is for the bold. It's for those who are willing to spend a lot of time alone in exchange for a little time with the one they love. It's for those knowing a good thing when they see it, even if they don't see it nearly enough..."
~Author unknown

It's that time of year again. School is about to end and people are going their separate ways. Some are going to be back to school in a few months, but some are moving away and attending other establishments or are going off to work. This time of year is hard for some people, especially for those that are in relationships. Whether a relationship is new or whether it has a few years under its belt, long distance is hard.

A conversation with a friend made me realize how close it is until my boyfriend leaves for his internship. But this did not concern me. What concerned me was how worried my friend was about her boyfriend leaving for law school. She was (and still is) extremely worried and asked me for advice. I honestly had no idea what to tell her. All I could do was tell her about my relationship and about how the long-distance portion of it has strengthened it.

That conversation sparked a couple of questions and thoughts. Why are we so scared of long-distance in our relationships? What is it that we are afraid of?

I don't necessarily have the answers to these questions, but looking at my relationship has helped me to understand why we feel the way we do.
My boyfriend and I started dating 3 years and 11 months ago. About a year after we started dating, he went on a 6 month internship. Since then, he has gone on one more and is about to go on another one in a month or two. That first internship was really hard for me. I honestly think that it was hard because I was so insecure. I knew that he loved me, BUT there were so many things that were flowing through my head.

What if he met someone else and started to like them?

What if he went away and forgot about me?

 All of these questions went through my head and it was very foolish of me. I should not have been so worried. Granted, it is natural to think these thoughts, but it worked out in the end. The long-distance made our relationship stronger. We spoke more and ended up learning more about each other through the conversations that we were having.

That is why I am not so concerned with my boyfriend going off on another internship. I know we will be ok, just as long as we both put effort into the relationship.

People need to realize that there are a few things that are neceassary for ALL relationships to work.

1) All relationships take effort.

2) All relationships NEED TRUST!!!!!

It takes more effort for a long-distance one. So, whether or not a relationship is going to work depends on the people involved. If those that are involved are willing to work hard, then the relationship has a better chance of working.

Trust is crucial in long-distance relationships and the lack of trust in a relationship may as well be the death of it.

So, to my friend (You know who you are!) and to those that are worried about their relationships going long-distance, I want to let you know that it may be hard. But just as long as you have trust and put effort into keeping your relationship strong, you will be fine!




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