Friday, April 8, 2011

Forgive and forget?

"The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong."

Mahatma Gandhi

Throughout my childhood, my mother would always tell me to forgive those that hurt me. Forgiveness is something that I do very easily. I can forgive someone that hurt me, but I can never really forget any situation. I truly do believe in the saying:

"Forgive but do not forget"

 I think it is extremely important to forgive people. I do not see the point in holding a grudge against others. That just allows hatred and bad feelings to culminate in your mind and it effects your life. SO, I thoroughly believe in forgiveness. 

But, what about if your significant other cheats on you? Do you forgive them? My friend asked me this one night. She had a rough time with her ex-boyfriend and this question kept stumbling through her mind. I never know what to say when people ask me questions like that. I do not want to influence them with my beliefs, but at the same time they asked. So, I just told her what I would do and what I believe. 

If someone cheats on you, they obviously do not respect you. I honestly do not care if they were drunk or if they were under the influence of some kind of chemical. If they cheat, that is a sign that they do not care for you enough to give you the respect that you deserve. With that said, I think that forgiveness is necessary. One should not trouble themselves with hatred towards someone so worthless and someone so disrespectful. It is easy to forgive. It is hard to forget. Once something like that happens, you never forget. You lose trust. I know that I tend to forgive, and will always offer myself as a person. I will always be there , but my trust will be lost. It has to be earned back. So yes, you can forgive, but if you are like me, trust is the most important part. 

SO, forgiveness does not always mean the relationship goes back to the way it was. Cheating changes things. 

With that, I end this entry. I would love feedback on this, since conversations with friends have shown me that there are so many views on this subject. 

Your forgiving friend,

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