Tuesday, September 16, 2014

Thoughts...

* Worrying about my best friend Chris. He has been under a lot of stress with work, job hunting and moving lately. Things have come together for him and he has found a job back in Tallahassee. I am so happy for him although I know moving back to Florida was not at the top of his list. I just want to make sure he is happy.

* Relieved to have finally talked to my dad last night. It was cut short but he always has a way of making me feel better. Thank you Charisma for reminding me that checking in with loved ones will help to make my life better at the moment! It was much needed!

* Dreading the next few days. My monthly friend is definitely coming in the next few days and I am already feeling the effects of it. Hopefully this one will be short...

* Excited for this rain that AZ is supposed to be expecting the rest of the week. It's the "Florida" in me! I have my umbrellas ready and am anticipating the sound of rain hitting the roof and the ground outside. The only downside: the combination of flash flooding with driving to work!

* Missing Gainesville. Football season and just the college town feel. I miss it a lot. This article doesn't help at all!




* Contemplating sex. Sounds funny. I know. But seriously, I never realized how many different views there were about sex until I had a conversation with friends a week or two ago. I have always been of the mindset where sex was something you do with someone you love and with someone you are in a committed relationship with. I know that there are people who do not agree but it never previously affected me since I was in a long term relationship.

When I had that conversation with my friends, it became obvious that having a "friends with benefits" (cringe) relationship is normal. I was so shocked and felt so stupid. I knew that things like that exist (I'm not stupid) but it never phased me before. Now that I am single, is that what I have to compete with? I mean... there's nothing wrong with people who think that is OK, but I personally can never see myself doing something like that. Am I weird? Is that as common as my friends were making it seem? because if it is... it makes being single daunting and scary.

* With that freak out moment over... I am still contemplating sex. I came across this article and actually enjoyed reading it! Go ahead... read it! I'll even link it again! Tell me what you think!

It's getting late and I am sure you are sick of my random thoughts. I'll let you guys go!

Love you!

XO


Is anyone else excited for this?




Come on... you know you are!

Before you go... 
Check out this weeks Post Secret posts...

XO


Monday, September 15, 2014

Four days in a row...

Are you shocked? I have posted four days in a row!

I feel like I was JUST celebrating the start of a new weekend.

...and what a great weekend it was. 

Friday
Not too eventful. I went straight to the mall to pick up a few things after work. I was a girl on a mission. I knew exactly what I needed and beelined it for the stores that sold the things I needed. After my shopping escapade, I relaxed at home. I ate my left over Kung Pao chicken from Pei Wei, sat down to type a post and had wine ALL NIGHT. 

Via
Come on... You know that looks good!
Saturday
Finally, I night of great sleep. I didn't wake once and felt so refreshed in the morning. It was much needed.

I started off my day with a refreshing shower and proceeded to get ready for a day full of activities. College football is in full swing and half my day was going to be spent watching the different teams play. A couple of friends invited me to meet up with them at a bar to watch the South Carolina vs Georgia game. SEC football! Oh yeah! The game was delayed by rain and it was nice because it gave the group time to relax and chat.

It was during the chat time that I figured out what I was going to do with my living situation. One of my friends owns a 4 bedroom house and is living alone. HE was kind enough to offer me a great deal to live with him! Cheers to great friends and a new [affordable...non stressful] living situation! I am so glad to get the living situation stress off my mind.

 Although it was fun hanging out with the guys AND watching all the college games, I had to leave before the end of the game to hang out with another friend**.

Said friend** was very sweet and invited me to a Diamondbacks game. It was nice to spend time with a good friend and get to know them. The only down side to going to the Diamondbacks game...

Missing my Gators opening conference game vs Kentucky.

G~O  G~A~T~O~R~S~!
Via
Yes. I wore this during the baseball game.
I HAD to wear a Gator!

I was receiving updates via text throughout the game and I was freaking out. We didn't play that well and the game wasn't as amazing as last weekends game against EMU. But still... we won.

After the game, said friend** took me to Cooperstown  (Yummy!) and we went out to play pool and relax!

Saturday was awesome. I love making new friends and getting to know new people.

Sunday
I was up and ready to go pretty early despite the fact that I got home pretty late the night before.

I decided to check out my friends house to make sure that I would be comfortable and happy living there. GUYS, the house is gorgeous and I KNOW I will love living there.

The rest of the day was spent laying out working on my tan! My butt... guys... it was bad before. Now the tan is starting to even out! Thank God!


The weekend was fun, eventful, and relaxing all at the same time. It was so hard to wake up this morning and the work day started off rough. I made coffee/hot chocolate mixture and sipped on it on the way to work. When I finally sat at my desk and opened my email, I had a lot of urgent work to address. Such a shock to start the day and it through the rest of my work day flow off.

Now... I am ready to pass out. 

Sooooo.... tired!




**Said friend is very cute and I KIND OF have a tiny crush! Too soon? I think so!

Sunday, September 14, 2014

A little bit of fun(ny)

Via
Story. of. my. life. 

* Is anyone else excited about Gilmore Girls on Netflix?
* If you are Filipino(a), then you will understand this...
* Sayings of 20-something boyfriends...
* I need to exercise so I can continue drinking wine...
* Some failed businesses...
* T-I-N-A
* Colon vs Lourdes... not really!


That's all for my randomness!

...and for serious... check this post out. Love Charisma!

Love you all!


Saturday, September 13, 2014

Updates...

Via


Apparently, the last 11- 12 days have consisted of wine, quotes, rain, and football.

*After the 3 day weekend, the work week D-R-A-G-G-E-D on. It was brutal. But I clung to me old Beatles loving ways and made sure to listen to some awesome music on our trusty old vinyl player... and in my car on the way to work. My love for the Beatles will never fade!

*Nothing too crazy happened during that brutally long week. Only an interesting conversation with my coworkers that put me on edge and made me very unsure of this whole "being single" thing. I am unprepared/ unready to talk about at right now... but I promise I will mention it soon.

*Wine drinking has been a constant these past few days. We all know how much I love wine... and it has made me feel so "classy" to come home and have a glass after a long work day.

*Florida football is in full swing. Remember how upset I was about the first Florida game of the season being cancelled because of rain and lightning? Well... Saturday made it a lot better. Victor and I went out to watch the Gators beat EMU. It was so great seeing them play. They have a ways to go but it was an awesome start to the season! (Did you see the score? Go... I'll wait here while you look at the bottom right square of the picture above...)

*Monday was awesome. You see, in the middle of the night, Colon and I woke up to the sound of pouring rain outside. The power kept going off in the middle of the night and the thunder was.... amazing!We woke in the morning to news of flash flooding throughout Phoenix. CRAZY! I almost didn't go into work. But... I am a Florida girl and am not afraid of rain. SO I dug out my umbrellas (you know... the ones that have not seen the light of day since we moved from Florida) and made my way to work. the flooding was crazy! But I loved it! I miss rainy days!

* Quotes... whenever I go through something big... I spend my time looking at quotes!

So yeah... my week was pretty boring but I am excited because it's OVER :)

XO




Friday, September 12, 2014

Late night thoughts of a very sleepy person...

Via


11 days since my last post.
 (I lie... I lie. I am up on the 11th typing this up!)
I don't know why I let myself neglect this space. I have sat in bed with my computer on my lap, trying to type and nothing ever comes out right. It sucks when that happens because I have had so much on my mind lately. So much has happened the past few weeks. So many learning experiences and life lessons. A month ago I never imagined that I would be where I am today.

Overwhelmed.

That's what I am!

Oh and let's not forget exhausted. I still have not been able to get a consistent good nights rest and it's been 10 days since I have written about my sleep problems. A few of you (thank you Paula!) have emailed or commented with suggestions that I have been trying. No luck yet.

I just need to clear my mind... and stop stressing.
Specifically when it comes to relationships.

Relationship with Colon...

Don't get me wrong. I am happy. This break up was for the best and I do not regret it at all. It's weird because I constantly get the "Would you be upset or jealous if he starts dating someone else?" and I can honestly answer that with a "No". I can smile genuinely and know in my heart that I want what is best for him and I want him to be happy; Even if that does not include me. That is how I know I am truly over the relationship.

BUT he is all that is familiar. Sometimes, I "crave" a hug or a cuddle. For seven years, my head rested comfortably in the crook of his neck. That was MY spot. My comfort zone.

NOW it's wrong to crave the simple familiar gestures that became habit throughout the seven years. And guys... I miss it.

I just need to remember that he is still my best friend. The person who knows practically everything about me.

We are still friends.

Relationships with family...

This has always been hard for me. I am not the best sister or daughter. I love my family with all my heart.
My sisters.
My brother.
My mom.
My dad.

They mean everything to me.

So why is it that I pull away from them when I go through difficult times. I always get scared that I have disappointed them. I am afraid to hear the judgement in their voice.

Now, through this whole break-up, I was able to pick up the phone and call my mom and sisters. I was able to open up and let them know how I was feeling. But when it came to calling my dad, I had the hardest time.

Correction...

When it comes to calling my dad, I am having the hardest time. He is the one person that I KNOW will give me the best advice. I know he will be the first person to be there for me... but I don't think I can bear to see the disappointment in his eyes or hear it in his voice!

Stupid... I know. I just have to get over it!

Relationship with friends...

Whenever changes occur, I find myself clinging to certain friends..

My long time, long distance best friend, Chris. We don't speak often but when we do Skype or phone we pick up where we left off. There is no judgement in our relationship. He accepts me for all my faults and quirkiness. He has shown me what friendship is. If I could only be a better friend to him...

My in town friend Victor. I met him for a brief moment in Miami. When Colon and I moved to Arizona, Victor kindly allowed us to stay with him. He kept me company during the holiday's last year and was my supportive friend when Colon and I were having issues last year. Now, again, he has been such a great friend. Again... I am not as good of a friend to him as he is to me...

New friends from work. I have mentioned them before. I am so happy that I have been able to make friends and get to know new people. They have been awesome with this whole thing going on in my life and I am so grateful for them. BUT why is it so hard for me to open up to them and let them in?


All of my friends. I suck the life from our friendships. I truly do love people. So why is it that I shut them out? Everything is going fine and then... I just retreat and pull into my (turtle) shell.  Why do I do this?


Bah... why?



PS... I am aware this post went nowhere... this is how my pre-sleep thoughts have been swirling in my mind lately...

non-stop!




Monday, September 1, 2014

Zoom Zoom Zoom


A little bit of fun from way back when! 

Happy Monday everybody. It feels so good to sleep in and not worry about waking up for work. This weekend was a much needed long weekend.

I really did not have anything planned for the weekend. BUT I knew that I had to make the most of it since Colon headed to Vegas mid-day on Friday. House to myself... just the way I like it.

These past few weeks, I have been having a horrible time falling asleep. I have had so much on my mind and I cannot stop the thoughts whirling through my mind. So, I find myself laying in bed at a reasonable time but not actually falling asleep for hours. Lately, my typical "fall asleep" time is between 3 am and 5 am. It's horrible because I end up getting a few hours of sleep and am exhausted at work.

Usually, I go a couple of days exhausted and then one night I just pass out from exhaustion. It's a vicious cycle that I need to remedy because I do not think I can handle this anymore. Anyone have any ideas on how I could turn off my thoughts at night and get a full nights rest?

So... yeah... this long weekend was supposed to allow me to relax and try to catch up on sleep. I don't think I actually accomplished that though.

I did not  fall asleep until 4 am Thursday night/ Friday morning. I was miserable at work and exhausted after work. BUT... there was no time to rest. My coworkers decided we would have a night out.

... and a night out is what we had. I took a short nap after work, had a few drinks while getting ready to go out, had a great LIGHT dinner with a friend, and a great night out with friends. (again... lack of sleep...)
Via


Saturday started slowly. I was exhausted and not feeling well. After running around in the morning, I napped until the Gator Game was supposed to start.

GO GATORS!

The game was supposed to start at 4 pm and I met up with my friend Victor to watch the first game of the season. I was so disappointed when the game kept getting delayed because of lightning in Gainesville. SO... I kept drinking and eating. Hopeful that the game would eventually start. The game started 2 or 3 hours later. Only one AWESOME Gator play... and then lightning delay. Yup. The Gators' opening game was terminated.

So upsetting. I was looking forward to the new Gator season!

Saturday night ended with a girls wine night. A new friend of mine came over and we talked for hours. It was amazing and much needed. I was able to open up and talk about the things going on in my head. So yeah... wine night ended really late... so I was not surprised when I woke up relatively late on Sunday and felt groggy the whole day. Too much!

Colon came home on Sunday and he could see how tired I was. It was nice to have him back.

...and now it's Monday. Tomorrow work starts for the week and I am already counting down to next weekend.

Let the countdown begin!

XO