Tuesday, March 13, 2018

Why yes, things have changed

You see... 
I kept my promise.  
I am back to continue my story!

In my last post, I alluded to my new goal. 

There I was three quarters of the way through 2016 and I had something to strive for. I needed to get out of my funk and turn my thoughts from the sadness and negativity within and work to something that will help me progress. 

Changes: Work 

After a couple months in the new town home, I pushed myself to apply for a new position at work. I am terrified of interviews and that was always holding me back when previous openings became available. Not this time. Fear was not going to hold me back. I applied, interviewed and actually got the position. 

Soon afterwards, I was accepted into a program called "Team Member Development Program" (TMDP). I had previously applied several times and FINALLY got accepted. This program did not change my position at work, it just allowed me to assist in the learning and development part of our department. It was a great opportunity and really tested my boundaries. I am shy and HATE speaking in public. Welp, I would have to get over that. In this program, I would have to speak in front of people EVERY day AND I prepared for two presentations to leadership. I was nervous and scared but it was a success. So much better than I expected. I was so proud of myself! The great thing about my being in the program was that is put me in a position to meet Leadership at another location and it was a stepping stone into a new position. The last few days of this program, I interviewed for another position and quickly heard that I was the selected candidate. So much change at work in less than 8 months but it was all positive. All of the changes were a risk for me- as in, they terrified me which motivated me to prove to myself that I can do it and succeed. 

Changes: Friendships

During this time, I worked on cultivating my relationship with my friends. I have always been horrible at keeping in touch with those that I care about.  

One of the important relationships was with my roommate, Brenda. She really is an angel. She helped build my confidence. She is always so encouraging. We had random roommate dinners, lunches and outings. It was amazing. Our cute little town-home started to feel like home. I could not think of anyone better to create a friendship home with!

Nicole. My sweet Nicole. I met her when I first started in this department in 2014. We were both shy and quiet: both relying on other people to start conversations. Somehow we became friends right away and our friendship has grown ever since. During this time, she was yet another person that supported me and cared for me. I became closer to not only her, but to her family: her daughter and boyfriend. Another angel to bless me!

Chris. My friend on the East Coast. My friend that has been there since my baby years at the University of Florida. My first friend in college. The random conversations. I did not even have to talk to him about my issues. He was there. He knew. Always supportive. I am grateful to have been able to visit him in Virginia and be there for his wedding celebration. More details about that trip in the future. It was so much fun. 

Chris. My former roommate that moved to Indiana. I am horrible at texting, but I tried to text as much as I could. It was not enough and I should have tried harder but we still stayed in touch. Even from far away, he was a good friend and I feel like we got closer with the distance! I was even able to plan a trip with a mutual friend, Lauren, to visit Chris in Chicago! So much fun and more details on that trip in a future post. 

Lauren. I met her through Chris while I was still living with him. With him being away, Lauren and I were able to get to know each other. She introduced me to Ramen and inspired me to hike and be (a little) more outdoorsy. On May 13, 2017, the day before my 29th birthday, we went on a hike on Mt. Lemmon in Tucson. A hike harder than expected... but I survived. Another trip to update on in a future post. It was amazing. 

Kiley. A friend that I made through Dreamy. Once upon a time, I dated Dreamy and he introduced me to his friend Mike, who was dating Kiley. When Kiley and I met, we hit it off instantly. She is so sweet and kind. Our conversations just flow and I find it easy to open up to her. I can be honest with my feelings and she is so understanding. In the past few years, even after Dreamy and I stopped seeing each other, Kiley and I have continued to meet up for quick friend dates. We even created a Christmas dinner tradition. In 2017, I had the pleasure of being invited to Kiley's weeding in Flagstaff. It was beautiful and such a fun trip. 

Mike. Another friend that I met through Chris. My friendship with Mike has been amazing. Getting to know him has been inspiring. He is so smart and so adventurous. Easy to talk to and is another supportive person in my life. 

Sense a theme, yet? All my friends are supportive. :)

Changes: A Minor setback

In November of 2016, after a few months of living with Brenda and 3 or 4 months after "the breakup", Dreamy contacted me again.  I can remember it clearly, I had volunteered for a late night project for work. I was in the middle of the project conference call and I get a text. I was shocked to see him reaching out. 

He said he wanted to try again. (Yeah right). And like a fool, I agreed to meet up and talk. It was awkward. I did not know what to say. Yet, we decided to try and take it slow. Time went by and again. I realized I wasted me time. He was a waste of time. He was a joke. 

I did not cry this time. I did not feel as bad. Maybe a day of feeling sad and then I got over it. 


Changes: Family

I have previously alluded to my relationship with my family in previous posts (see this particular one). I have the hardest time opening up to my family. I hate having them worry. Not reaching out to family can cause issues in a relationship- OBVIOUSLY. When things got harder and changes became overwhelming, having a relationship with my family kept me strong. 

Dad. My amazing dad. Our relationship has strengthened. He really is my hero. And the past few years have been amazing. In March of 2016, my dad was able to start his Phoenix visit tradition. He continued that tradition in March 2017. I have also been able to spend Christmas in Miami in 2016 AND 2017. Spending time with my family and creating a bond with my youngest siblings makes my heart full! Details to come in a future post. 

Christina. My younger sister. She came to visit me previously. In 2017, I traveled to Virginia to go to my friend, Chris', wedding. While there, I traveled into Washington D.C. and spent time with my sister. It was great to spend time with my sister. We talked and reminisced. Laughed and bonded. It was great. Much needed sister bonding time. 

...and yet again. Such a long post for only being in mid 2017. 

More to come in my next post. 

Love always, 

Sunday, March 11, 2018

My, Have things changed?

In two days it will be three years to the day since I last posted. So much has changed in three years.

The last time I posted, I was in a calm before the storm....and I had no idea the storm was coming. Isn't that how it usually is, though? 

3 years ago... I was:

-Living with one of the best roommates ever. 
(I just realized that I never named him on this blog. I searched and searched and cannot find his name in any of my posts. I always just call him "roommate") 
-I was in a relationship with Dreamy. (another person that I have never officially named)
-I had a great job where I was comfortable and that I was loving. 
-I was slowly building my relationship with my family. 

What has happened in the last three years?

My awesome roommate slowly became one of my best friends. I have learned that he is one of the kindest and caring people that I know. A true friend- a true brother. I should probably name him since I see him being a friend for a very long time- Chris- not to be confused with my long time BF Chris.

My relationship with Dreamy crumbled. Two people that were not on the same page were together which led to a disaster.  In came pain that I had never felt before. When things ended with Colon, I was not upset at all. I felt nothing (a true sign that I was not emotionally in that relationship for a LONG time)- except for fear. I was scared of not succeeding and not being able to survive on my own. 

But with Dreamy, I was so hurt. 

I did not realize how much I was emotionally invested in him. I allowed myself to reroute my life around him. It was so dumb and stupid- but it happened. I fell into a depression and tried to hide it; feeling like I could not let on that I was hurting to my friends and family. Yet, I failed at hiding it from him- EMBARASSING!

This would be a good spot to let everyone know, I am horrible with change- whether it is good or bad. And I was considering this change to be BAD. 

Then came more change. 
(Lourdes circa mid 2015 to mid 2016 would read this as a sarcastic "woohoo")

My roommate of a few years, you know- the one that was one of my best roommates ever, made a career change and moved to Indiana. When he moved away from Arizona, it was hard. One of my best friends was moving away and my living situation was changing at the same time. 

In comes Brenda- a coworker and a great friend. 
She is always someone that I could talk to and that showed support for me. She was (and still is) an angel that blessed me with her friendship. And now- she became my roommate. We searched together and found a cute little town-home for us to live. The process was fun and came with lots of laughs. It was actually less overwhelming than I thought it would be. 

Moving was stressful. Brenda along with her friends and family are amazing people. They offered to help move my stuff and it was completed so quickly. Chris helped out too and proved how GREAT of a friend he is. It was great to see how helpful he was while trying to pack his own place and coordinate his move to Indiana. 

So there I was, more than halfway through 2016, a single lady in a new living situation with a new roommate and a few of her closest friends have moved out of state. Although I was still reeling from the change, I made it a point to be more positive because I realized how negative I was about any change in my life AND how I allowed fear (of failure) to impact my decisions. 

My new goal from that point on: 
Realize that change is ALWAYS meant to be positive and do not run away from change because I am afraid.  So, if an opportunity comes and I am afraid of failing, then I will jump right in and prove to MYSELF that I can do it and conquer. 

Image result for change quotes
Found here

That has been my attitude ever since and I am so proud of how that has impacted me. Since this is running long (we've only reached mid-2016), I thought I would continue with the update in my next post!

See you soon (I promise!)

Friday, March 13, 2015

Taking time from reality to reminisce...

That's right. 

I am back in Phoenix and am actually happy to be back.I had such an amazing time in Florida but being away from my bed for so long was taking a toll on me. I seriously suffered from a lack of sleep while in Florida. 

My trip to Florida started off with a bang. My mom picked me up from the airport on Saturday and we headed to the store to get my toiletries. I decided to travel without packing toiletries so I had to buy everything when I landed. We had to get everything ready for the next day. Although I was exhausted from the day of traveling, my mom ended up waking everyone up at 6am on Sunday to make our way to New Orleans. We used to live there and a day trip to New Orleans is a tradition in my family. 

So, the three of us (my mother, cousin and I) drove to New Orleans and I took this time to introduce them to the Serial podcast. We were engrossed and the drive went by quickly. (Guys... I highly suggest that you listen to this podcast. AMAZING. You will be hooked). 

In New Orleans, we...
* ate beignets and drank cafe au laits at the Cafe du Monde
* walked around the French Quarter
* Walked along the river
* Ate at the Gumbo Shop and had Crawfish etoufee, Jambalaya, and gumbo. So yummy!

We then headed back to Florida after the day in New Orleans. The were engrossed in the Serial Podcast during the drive back. 

The week started off slow. It felt good being home and I took the time, while my mother was at work, to just enjoy Florida. Spending time with my mom was refreshing. I had not seen her since she came to AZ to visit me in January of 2014 so the bonding time was much needed. 

During my week (while in my home town), I...
* frequented the beach - My mom was able to get a condo for the week
* Frequented downtown 
* ate at Steak n Shake (yummy!) and had my typical meal (ie a frisco melt wih fries and a turtle shake)
* got some yummy Krispy Kreme
* ate at Fish House 
* FINALLY had some Yeungling!
* Celebrated my cousin Roselle's birthday

Mid week, I ended up driving to Tallahassee to visit my friend Chris. I drove over on Wednesday and we were able to eat some Zaxby's (another yummy that I cannot indulge in while in Arizona) and drink some wine while reminiscing and catching up. I had not seen him in FOREVER. It has been years so it was nice to speak face to face instead of via our routine Skype sessions. 

The beach was beautiful. It was just cold and cloudy most of the week. It really did not clear up until my last day- Saturday, the day I left. Since my flight took off around 7pm, we decided to wake up and walk the beach and boardwalk. The weather was amazing and the beach was just gorgeous. 

I had such an amazing trip and it was so hard to come back to reality. It helped to have Dreamy pick me up from the airport and spend the rest of the weekend with me. He is such a cutie. 

It was so good to take time from reality to reminisce about my vacation back to Florida. 


Saturday, March 7, 2015

New years 2015

I'm still in Florida, y'all. 
I actually head out later on today and am kind of moping around.
I am dreading the flight and am really going to miss my mom. 

Nevertheless, I thought I would take the free time to update you on how I brought in the year 2015. 
I had no plans for the New Year and getting my New Years kiss from Dreamy was out of the question because he was out of time for New Years. Plus, I really just wanted to give into my loner tendencies and cuddle in bed and watch movies. 
Something quiet and relaxing. 

That did not happen. 

During the work day (YES, I worked Dec 31st), my friend kept texting and asking about my plans. He is also from Florida and didn't have family to celebrate the New Year with, so I gave in when he asked if I wanted to spend it with him. I was optimistic until the end of the day. Once I got home, I started to feel lazy. Not really in the mood to entertain and socialize and it didn't help that my roommate (who is super awesome) was also in the same funk. 

But I still gave in and invited my friend and his roommate to come over. I brought out the wine and grapes. Once everyone arrived I separated the grapes and got them ready for midnight. 

I made espresso to wake everyone up. 

We brought out Cards Against Humanity and played for hours. 

We had several tequila shots. Too many to count. 

We drank all of the wine bottles.

Midnight came and we each ate our 12 grapes. 

I got my "Happy New Years" texts from Dreamy. 

... and we all sat around talking for a couple more hours before everyone went to bed. 

I woke too early on the 1st. It was a cloudy gloomy day but I still felt fresh and optimistic. How lucky am I to be able to celebrate another year.

We all laid in bed forever. We were all still feeling the effects from the drinks the night before. BUT we had to get up to go to the bar and watch the football games. So we made our way to House of Brews (a new favorite haunt that is super close to my house). 

The rest of the day was spent relaxing and trying to sober up so I wouldn't feel horrible the next day at work. 

Yup. I had an amazing New Years. Even if I HAD to spend it with people :)

Love you all!



... enjoy the pictures 

PS... does anyone else do the 12 grapes at midnight? They are supposed to give you good luck for the twelve months of the year. 

Friday, March 6, 2015

Christmas 2014... reminiscing

Lourdes here.
Still in Florida, driving my mom crazy.

While my mom is working, I decided to spend my alone time in a coffee shop on Pensacola beach. A past-time that I have been longing for since I moved away from home. I WOULD be out on the beach but that was thwarted by the temperatures that we have currently been experiencing here on the Gulf Coast. Just my luck! 

As I was sitting here drinking my hot cocoa, I started looking through the photos in my phone. That was when I realized that I still have not updated y'all (yes... I am in the panhandle... we use "y'all") on the happening over the holidays. I briefly mentioned it, but didn't go into detail. So, I have decided to do that today. 

Before I start the recap, I should give a shout-out to a very special person. 
My cousin, RoRo (not her real name btw). 
Today is her birthday and I am so glad that I was able to be in Florida to see her today. 
Not much to say other than she is amazing and
Love you tons.  

So yeah, this past Christmas was amazing. I cannot recall whether I previously mentioned that I was able to purchase tickets to visit my dad and siblings in Houston. 

The trip was amazing. I was only there for 4 or 5 days, but the time pent with my family was memorable. Before this trip, I had never met my youngest sister. This was partly due to the crazy and rocky relationship that I have with my dad. 

Guys, this trip was great. I was so nervous to see my dad and I don't even understand why. I got to know my dad again. He was so happy to see me and to see all (except for one- Christina you should have been there) of his kids together. My younger sister, Alicia, flew into Houston from Orlando a few days before me and all of the group texts between the family shows the anticipation and the excitement. 

My youngest siblings grew. I wasn't expecting everyone to be so grown up. 

My brother is a teenager. It was shocking to see how tall he is. His voice was changing which was extremely weird. I miss his baby voice! It was great to see him healthy and active (I have mentioned his Crohn's disease previously). Also, He turned 15 on Christmas Eve! He is a teenager! I cannot get over it. 

My sister, Natalia, is just beautiful. The last time I saw her was for Alicia's graduation. She was a little bitty girl and now she is 8 years old and such a young lady. She is so smart and the things she said during this trip just left me in awe. 

I was able to take her on a shopping trip with me to the mall on Christmas Eve and I am so grateful for the alone time with her. We were able to speak and I really got to know her. My family also had this thing where the older siblings take showers with the younger siblings (it obviously stop when the youngies are too old for this...) so she was my shower partner for a while. She said the funniest things in the shower. 

My youngest sister, Victoria, is three years old and I mentioned earlier in this post that I never met her before this trip. So meeting her was amazing. She was this little chunky monkey and I fell in love immediately. She was also a shower buddy of mine. Too cute! 

Not much left to say. Just thought I would bombard you with a bunch of pictures from the trip. 

Hope you enjoyed the pictures. 
I sure did!
Another amazing Christmas!

Love my family. 
Love you all!

Lourdes <3

Monday, March 2, 2015


For the past few months, I have developed a routine.

Sunday: Wake up happy that it's still the weekend but already dreading going to bed because I know when I wake again it will be time to go to work

Monday- Thursday: Wake up. Go to work. Come home. Find something to do. Go to sleep.

Friday: Wake up. Go to work. Leave work excited for the weekend.

I was in a rut. Not necessarily outside of work. BUT work was getting redundant. I was just a body taking up space. I still excelled. No one can say that I was not doing well. I was just.... bored. I was becoming complacent and not challenging myself. I had no goals.

Well... I had my year end review last week and I did pretty well. It felt good to get the feedback that I got and I don't know why but it lit a fire under my butt. Leaving that meeting gave me new-found motivation.

Yup. I immediately created a folder for my professional goals with the company and have started to put things into place.

It's amazing how something so simple (like a meeting and a to-do/ goal list) could be a source of motivation.

Guys. I have my groove back!

Oh yeah!



Sunday, March 1, 2015

Sometimes I binge...

On Netflix
Who doesn't?

Since I have been gone for the longest time, I thought I would list out the shows I have been bingeing and loving

* Doctor Who
* Californication
* Gilmore Girls
* Arrested Development
* How I Met Your Mother
* Bob's Burgers
* Scandal
* House of Cards- Season three just was released on Netflix and I am trying to find time to start (and finish) the season
* Reign
* Pretty Little Liars - only the seasons on Netflix
* Breaking Bad

Guys. I have been obsessed with Breaking Bad. It was my most recent binge and I have been obsessed. Get on it if you have not watched it. So good!

So yeah.

Pointless post. BUT this kind of gives a hint of what I have been up to the last few months.